Sunday 17 February 2019

Now, that's a biography!


I thought, ahead of Len's 90th birthday tomorrow, that I'd reproduce his biography which was included in the Penguin editions of Horse Under Water and Billion Dollar Brain. It's certainly one of the more obtuse author biographies you'll find, and - as most of it's true - a testament to a remarkably varied early life before he became a full-time author.

"Description - dark complexion, fourteen stone, six feet tall. Cruel, sardonic sense of humour. Large hands, stubby fingers used to punctuate rapid, neurotic speech. Bayonet scar palm right hand. Drinks warily, seldom smokes. 
Skills - extensive knowledge of military history, modern control systems, aircraft (especially helicopters), vehicles, weapons, tactics. Marksman; never hunts animals. Good cook. 
Experience - railway lengthman [DD - he used to work at Nine Elms], Piccadilly waiter, Madison Avenue adman, Vogue fashion artist, photographer RAF Mosquitos, manager Aldgate gown factory. Seen Vista-Vision blue films in pre-Castro Cuba, typhoon in Tokyo, hurricane passing New York. Given talk over Soviet radio. Once fell into Hong Kong harbour, fatty tissue saved him."

Now, that's a biography and a half, huh?

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